Happy Mother's Day!

At this moment, it is twenty to one on March 11th, which in the UK means it is Mother's Day.

Over the last few weeks, I've noticed that this celebration seems to split opinions. I happen to be a member of a few online forums, Mumsnet being one of them. On Mumsnet, I've noticed two main opinions about Mother's Day.

One school of thought is that it is just one more commercialised bullshit day, created by gift manufacturers, restaurants and card shops to pry more money from our fingers. We should show our appreciation every day, rather than a token effort once a year to save face. Buying into Mother's Day is childish and selfish, etc, etc.

The other main thought that I saw is that there's nothing wrong with wanting to do something a bit special for your mother, be it your biological, adoptive, step mother, or even just a maternal figure in your life. What does it really take to buy a bunch of tulips or daffodils, and a card, just to show you care?

I'm more of the second school of thought, although I do think we should show our appreciation for the people we feel deserve it everyday.
I've been mulling this over, the past few days, to try and figure out my stance on it.

Ever since I was young, we have always done something for Wheelz for Mother's Day. This might have been a gift, purchased from a shop by either mine, or Lil Monster's father. As we got older, we progressed into handmade flowers sprayed with perfume, and then gifts that we purchased with our own pocket money.
It was just what we did. It was a day to be extra nice to our mum and to thank her for... Well, for being our mum, I guess.

More recently, I think that's changed. Mine and Wheelz's relationship is... Unbalanced, is probably the best way of putting it. Due to her disabilities, and my position as her carer, certain boundaries have been blurred and contorted. The traditional mother/daughter relationship hasn't really had a chance to exist, because life gets in the way. We rely on each other in different ways, and there are aspects of our relationship that would probably seem peculiar to outsiders.

I think that now, for me, Mother's Day is still about showing my gratitude and appreciation for Wheelz.
But now, it's a chance to reflect, as an adult, and thank her for the childhood she gave me. Things got severely jacked up along the way, but I never, ever doubted that she loved me, and wanted the best for me, and would have my back whenever I needed her.
Now, when I say 'happy Mother's Day' to Wheelz, I'm not only saying thank you for keeping a roof over my head, and being my mum.
I'm also saying, thank you for teaching me how to be strong enough to deal with the realities of life, and for letting me lean on you when that got to be too much.
I'm saying that I have a huge respect and admiration for the mother that you were when I was a child, despite divorce and stepchildren and so on. But I have even more for you now, for continuing to model the kind of adult that I want to be, even in the face of some major adversity.
I'm saying, thank you for being there for me, through thick and thin, despite how desperately hard some of the roads we've travelled have been.

I'm saying, Happy Mother's Day. Because you're my mum, and I love and appreciate you, and would like to take a day to celebrate you.
Not with the caveat of, I love you despite your disabilities, or because of them. No bullshit about commercialism or consumerism or anything like that.

You're my mum, and I happen to think you're pretty fucking great. So I'm going to take today to tell you that, and maybe spoil you a bit, because that's exactly what you deserve everyday.

Happy Mother's Day.

Love

Stripes
xx