....and I have no intention of it turning into one. But I don't actually do much - as you may have gathered by now - so it makes sense that I let you know what I've actually been doing since 31st December 2018.
Many, many years ago, I lost nearly 7 stone following a VLCD called the Cambridge Diet. For all sorts of reasons - including an ex who hated me losing weight because it made insecurities pop out of the woodwork - I never actually reached my goal.
Anyway, I started seriously following my version of a VLCD at the end of December. It has had to be my version because I can't afford to follow one with a Counsellor, and Lighterlife is expensive AF if you go through the programme. So I've been buying my stuff from Exante, Superdrug who do Lighterlife Fast and Slim'n'Save.
My first week I lost 35lbs. No, your eyes are not deceiving you - I lost 35lbs in the first week. Complete food replacement, three products a day. The ONLY reason I lost that much weight is that I am a complete and utter camel and hold onto water like there's a drought planned. That, and I have (had) over 250lbs to lose. So that was an incentive to keep going.
It hasn't been easy. Obviously Da Boss and Monster-teen have to eat. And there have been times when I have wanted to rip the food out of their hands and shove it down my throat so that I looked like a snake with undigested food shapes sticking out! But on the whole, I have managed to stick with it. Periodically I have needed vegetables because on a VLCD, you don't *ahem* create a lot of waste. So sometimes constipation can be a problem. Having the odd meal of meat/veg gave my body something to gather up and expel.
Then I have had some problems with the ready-to-drink shakes. I have no idea why - as far as I'm aware, I don't have any sort of dairy intolerance. But every time I had one of the ready to drink shakes, I had a MAJOR explosion in the bathroom. Like, OMG, I need a hazmat suit and a CDC team to deal with this. Fortunately, I have finished nearly all of the RTD shakes so that shouldn't happen any more.
Last week was week 8. Monster-teen went to visit her dad. And I went down with the mother of all viruses, including a hacking cough that made me think my eyeballs were going to explode out of my head, and my brain was shaking in my skull. Everything hurt like you wouldn't believe. So I ate. All week. Mostly one meal a day - pizza one day, tagliatelli another day, MacDonalds one day. I planned a couple of times to get back on track and then wanted food - it was very Arianna Grande: I see it, I like it, I want it, I get it. (Apart from the complete fail by UberEats that we won't discuss but that almost made me cry!) I haven't managed to kick this virus completely - still coughing a lot, headaches are still bad. But better than I was.
But today, my order arrived from Slim'n'Save, and I'm back on just the packs. I weighed in and have been fortunate enough to only put on 1lb which is a complete miracle if I'm gonna be honest.
My knees are bad again - I think it might be time for another steroid injection. I'm not looking forward to the actual injection but by God, I'm looking forward to the relief.
I've now lost 53lbs in 8 weeks. I'm very proud but also completely terrified. I haven't been this successful on a diet in years. Quite possibly a decade. I can't actually see much difference in myself. But yeah, it's been messing with my head just a bit.
So that's me. I'm trying to keep track of things on Instagram Chutney Spires which is a daily log of what I'm eating and how I'm doing. And I'm kinda hoping to use this place for the headstuff. But it's definitely not gonna be a diet blog.
Oh yeah. I missed my MRI because of the virus but it's been rescheduled for March so that's happening. I don't know why, but I'm scared they're going to say they can't see anything wrong. Like somehow, the MRI isn't going to see the arthritis etc and they're going to label me a fraud. Does anyone else ever have that stuff go on in their head?
Showing posts with label Disabled. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disabled. Show all posts
Monday, 25 February 2019
Tuesday, 24 April 2018
What it means to be a carer *potential trigger warning*
I often find that people don't take it as seriously as they ought to, when I tell them that I'm Wheelz's carer. I don't know if it's because they don't truly understand what that means, or if it's because I'm her daughter and so they don't think it's a 'real job'. With a few people, I've gotten the impression that they think it's just an easy way for me to make some money from the government, without having to work for it!
In case it's not clear, that is categorically not true.
Being Wheelz's carer means a lot of different things to me, and I suppose some of those things are different to a paid, trained carer, because they're not related to her.
If I told people that I was a carer, and didn't mention that it's for my mother, they'd have a very different picture in their minds. They'd think I went to work in blue scrubs, visiting disabled/elderly people. They'd think that I went around, helping with painkillers and tablets, keeping a general eye on their health, and aiding them around their houses with both general and personal needs.
The truth is, I do all of that, except that Wheelz isn't elderly, and I'm generally wearing jeans and a hoodie.
But I do help her out with her painkillers and tablets throughout the day (especially the aspirin that never wants to come out of it's blister pack). I do keep an eye on her throughout the day, whether she's resting or awake. I keep track of her sleep, and how much of it she's not getting. I know roughly how much she's drinking throughout the day, and that realistically, it's not enough. I know what she's eating during the day, because I'm the one that prepares and cooks it. I know how much food is in the kitchen, and when the shopping needs doing, because I do the shopping and cooking. I help Wheelz around the flat when she's feeling unsteady, and have my ears trained in her direction when she's not. I'm her support both physically and emotionally.
When she has appointments to attend, regardless of whether they're blood tests, pain clinic or just med reviews, I go with her.
When she needs help walking to the bathroom and back because her knees aren't cooperating, I'm there to guide her, and help balance her as she walks.
And when she was feeling at her lowest low with everything, I was there to call the crisis team and put away the tablets that she'd been planning on taking.
I'm not saying that this is all one sided, of course. When I was having weekly panic attacks, and failing three driving tests in a row, Wheelz was there to give me a hug, and tell me that it didn't matter if I could drive or not.
When I'm not sleeping well, or I'm unwell, or it's day 2 of my period, she does everything she can to need me as little as possible.
What Wheelz and I have is unique and probably quite unusual, but it's been working for us.
I don't want this post to come across as pious. She's my mum, and I'd do all of that for her and more, if she needed me to.
But I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm looked down upon for what I do. I may not be with an agency, or employed by the NHS, but I am a carer.
The truth is, no matter how willing we are to do it, family/friend carers, those of us who get by on Carer's Allowance, get paid a pittance for what we do. We do everything that an agency/NHS carer would do and more, as well as being paid less and being judged more.
Despite how difficult it can be at times, I truly wouldn't change what we have. Wheelz is my very best friend, and I know we're lucky to be so close. My work is being with my best friend all the time, which not very many people get.
But being a carer is not a free ride. It is not sitting at home all day, doing sweet fuck all and being paid for it. It is just as much work as any other job.
I wouldn't change what I do, because being there for Wheelz is probably the most fulfilling thing I've ever done with my life.
But I would change how other people saw it.
I wish everyone truly understood what it actually means to be a carer.
In case it's not clear, that is categorically not true.
Being Wheelz's carer means a lot of different things to me, and I suppose some of those things are different to a paid, trained carer, because they're not related to her.
If I told people that I was a carer, and didn't mention that it's for my mother, they'd have a very different picture in their minds. They'd think I went to work in blue scrubs, visiting disabled/elderly people. They'd think that I went around, helping with painkillers and tablets, keeping a general eye on their health, and aiding them around their houses with both general and personal needs.
The truth is, I do all of that, except that Wheelz isn't elderly, and I'm generally wearing jeans and a hoodie.
But I do help her out with her painkillers and tablets throughout the day (especially the aspirin that never wants to come out of it's blister pack). I do keep an eye on her throughout the day, whether she's resting or awake. I keep track of her sleep, and how much of it she's not getting. I know roughly how much she's drinking throughout the day, and that realistically, it's not enough. I know what she's eating during the day, because I'm the one that prepares and cooks it. I know how much food is in the kitchen, and when the shopping needs doing, because I do the shopping and cooking. I help Wheelz around the flat when she's feeling unsteady, and have my ears trained in her direction when she's not. I'm her support both physically and emotionally.
When she has appointments to attend, regardless of whether they're blood tests, pain clinic or just med reviews, I go with her.
When she needs help walking to the bathroom and back because her knees aren't cooperating, I'm there to guide her, and help balance her as she walks.
And when she was feeling at her lowest low with everything, I was there to call the crisis team and put away the tablets that she'd been planning on taking.
I'm not saying that this is all one sided, of course. When I was having weekly panic attacks, and failing three driving tests in a row, Wheelz was there to give me a hug, and tell me that it didn't matter if I could drive or not.
When I'm not sleeping well, or I'm unwell, or it's day 2 of my period, she does everything she can to need me as little as possible.
What Wheelz and I have is unique and probably quite unusual, but it's been working for us.
I don't want this post to come across as pious. She's my mum, and I'd do all of that for her and more, if she needed me to.
But I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm looked down upon for what I do. I may not be with an agency, or employed by the NHS, but I am a carer.
The truth is, no matter how willing we are to do it, family/friend carers, those of us who get by on Carer's Allowance, get paid a pittance for what we do. We do everything that an agency/NHS carer would do and more, as well as being paid less and being judged more.
Despite how difficult it can be at times, I truly wouldn't change what we have. Wheelz is my very best friend, and I know we're lucky to be so close. My work is being with my best friend all the time, which not very many people get.
But being a carer is not a free ride. It is not sitting at home all day, doing sweet fuck all and being paid for it. It is just as much work as any other job.
I wouldn't change what I do, because being there for Wheelz is probably the most fulfilling thing I've ever done with my life.
But I would change how other people saw it.
I wish everyone truly understood what it actually means to be a carer.
Tuesday, 3 April 2018
Wakanda and Leto Hangover!
Yeah, so I've finally stopped calling everyone a motherfucker - it barely lasted five days so why Stripes is complaining, I don't know!! However, the Wakanda hangover remains. I would still book tickets to Wakanda in a hot minute (I'm pretty sure I could help Killmonger deal with his feelings of loss while he recovered from that spear wound). It's probably a good thing I don't go out very often as calling people Coloniser, throwing wigs at them and expecting a proper Wakandan salute when you meet them is beyond the expectations of our little section of Birmingham!
So what's occurring? Well, I'm on day 24/5 of Exante. I did have a planned evening off for our concert night - hot salty fries anyone? - but right back on it the next day. I haven't seen any consistent weight loss - in the first week, the scales said I had lost 3 lbs; second week 2lbs. As you can imagine, having given up food entirely, I was less than pleased with these puny results. It doesn't help that my scales are a hunk of junk and rarely give the same results twice in a row. I promised myself I'd do it for a month and then decide what next, so that's what I'm doing. I actually like the shakes and porridge - some of the bars are revolting and mac and cheese taste like paste. But I can do this. I was meant to be following it with a friend, but she doesn't have as much to lose as me and when her first week's results were a pile of crap, she kinda jumped ship! So, me, myself and I and a facebook group that I've found. Plus numerous youtube videos including Life of Ollie.
Unfortunately, I'm not feeling well today. It looks like I've got a mini infection of my helix piercing i.e. a HUGE lump behind my ear that stabs me like the sword of a thousand spartans if I move my head without thinking. This comes with a side order of nausea, hot and cold fever, temperatures which make me feel like a furnace even whilst shivering - you get the picture. I tried to use this as justification for another day off diet plan - surely MacDonalds would make me feel better? But Stripes is onto me and my shenanigans so what I got was steroid ointment and orders to drink more fluids.
Thirty Seconds to Mars was freaking amazing. There were so many other disabled people there- we passed at least four other wheelchairs, plus people using crutches and walking sticks. It made me feel like I stood out a little less, which is saying something as the last time I tried to dye my crewcut blonde, it came out a delightful shade of lavender! Our seats were good and to be honest, I can't remember the last time I just sang my heart out without worrying about being out of tune, with thousands of other people joining in. I felt so free that even the pain in my knees from sitting still for so long didn't bother me much.
And of course, Stripes. She's my best mate and she doesn't always believe me when I tell her how special she is. But she moved the car on her own because she knew I couldn't walk back to it, move it and still have any real energy left. She just did it - and bloody perfectly too. She parked better than I do!! I'm mega proud of her, but she just thinks I have to be cos I'm her mother. Pft, shows what she knows
Easter holidays, which means Little Monster, She has been trying really hard lately but that seems to be wearing off. Just in time for her to go and spend a week with her Dad. She doesn't want to go - especially as it falls over her birthday - but she DOES want to go because he's her dad, and she wants him to have a chance to get to know her after being away for five years. So hopefully, he won't disappoint her. And it means Stripes and I get a week to ourselves! Until she's actually on the coach, I won't believe it, but we could be getting a WHOLE WEEK to ourselves!!!
In the meantime, the April thing is face make up - i.e. foundation, concealer and contour. None of us have ever used make up really before but Lil Monster has expressed interest. For her birthday, we've bought her some make up palettes, and for our April thing, I've just ordered a load of foundation, etc for us all to play with.
Not as easy as it sounds as I haven't been able to get to any shops to test foundation colours for matching my skin tone. None of the local superdrugs are particularly wheelchair friendly - whether it be a lack of parking or a lack of space within the store. Add to that, apparently this make up flies off the shelves because it is affordable but good! So we've ordered a variety of shades and will see how it turns out.
So, that's a little catch up with me. I've fallen in love with the Strictly Come Dancing game on tablet, which has rapidly become a bit of an obsession. This does mean I have semi stopped playing Songpop, Words with Friends and Sims Freeplay. And now, Sims Mobile, which I am less than impressed with but stay playing because I want to see what happens when my sims die!
Maybe you'll hear more from me over the next fortnight. Although, Shadowhunters season 3 has started so I wouldn't count on it - Malec isn't going to support itself you know!
Wakanda Forever!
x
So what's occurring? Well, I'm on day 24/5 of Exante. I did have a planned evening off for our concert night - hot salty fries anyone? - but right back on it the next day. I haven't seen any consistent weight loss - in the first week, the scales said I had lost 3 lbs; second week 2lbs. As you can imagine, having given up food entirely, I was less than pleased with these puny results. It doesn't help that my scales are a hunk of junk and rarely give the same results twice in a row. I promised myself I'd do it for a month and then decide what next, so that's what I'm doing. I actually like the shakes and porridge - some of the bars are revolting and mac and cheese taste like paste. But I can do this. I was meant to be following it with a friend, but she doesn't have as much to lose as me and when her first week's results were a pile of crap, she kinda jumped ship! So, me, myself and I and a facebook group that I've found. Plus numerous youtube videos including Life of Ollie.
Unfortunately, I'm not feeling well today. It looks like I've got a mini infection of my helix piercing i.e. a HUGE lump behind my ear that stabs me like the sword of a thousand spartans if I move my head without thinking. This comes with a side order of nausea, hot and cold fever, temperatures which make me feel like a furnace even whilst shivering - you get the picture. I tried to use this as justification for another day off diet plan - surely MacDonalds would make me feel better? But Stripes is onto me and my shenanigans so what I got was steroid ointment and orders to drink more fluids.
Thirty Seconds to Mars was freaking amazing. There were so many other disabled people there- we passed at least four other wheelchairs, plus people using crutches and walking sticks. It made me feel like I stood out a little less, which is saying something as the last time I tried to dye my crewcut blonde, it came out a delightful shade of lavender! Our seats were good and to be honest, I can't remember the last time I just sang my heart out without worrying about being out of tune, with thousands of other people joining in. I felt so free that even the pain in my knees from sitting still for so long didn't bother me much.
And of course, Stripes. She's my best mate and she doesn't always believe me when I tell her how special she is. But she moved the car on her own because she knew I couldn't walk back to it, move it and still have any real energy left. She just did it - and bloody perfectly too. She parked better than I do!! I'm mega proud of her, but she just thinks I have to be cos I'm her mother. Pft, shows what she knows
Easter holidays, which means Little Monster, She has been trying really hard lately but that seems to be wearing off. Just in time for her to go and spend a week with her Dad. She doesn't want to go - especially as it falls over her birthday - but she DOES want to go because he's her dad, and she wants him to have a chance to get to know her after being away for five years. So hopefully, he won't disappoint her. And it means Stripes and I get a week to ourselves! Until she's actually on the coach, I won't believe it, but we could be getting a WHOLE WEEK to ourselves!!!
In the meantime, the April thing is face make up - i.e. foundation, concealer and contour. None of us have ever used make up really before but Lil Monster has expressed interest. For her birthday, we've bought her some make up palettes, and for our April thing, I've just ordered a load of foundation, etc for us all to play with.
Not as easy as it sounds as I haven't been able to get to any shops to test foundation colours for matching my skin tone. None of the local superdrugs are particularly wheelchair friendly - whether it be a lack of parking or a lack of space within the store. Add to that, apparently this make up flies off the shelves because it is affordable but good! So we've ordered a variety of shades and will see how it turns out.
So, that's a little catch up with me. I've fallen in love with the Strictly Come Dancing game on tablet, which has rapidly become a bit of an obsession. This does mean I have semi stopped playing Songpop, Words with Friends and Sims Freeplay. And now, Sims Mobile, which I am less than impressed with but stay playing because I want to see what happens when my sims die!
Maybe you'll hear more from me over the next fortnight. Although, Shadowhunters season 3 has started so I wouldn't count on it - Malec isn't going to support itself you know!
Wakanda Forever!
x
Tuesday, 6 February 2018
Happy birthday to me.....well, nearly!
I'm 48 on Friday and my head is abuzz.
There's the meeting with the Doctor where weight loss surgery was suggested. The follow-up meeting where it was chased up. And the two friends who have undergone said surgery in the last three months alone.
I've been following keto since December, with a break for Christmas, and according to the scales have lost the grand total of 11 lbs. Near-daily photos of my face show a difference but that could just be lighting, eyebrow makeup and the angle of the phone - according to me anyway.
For my birthday, I decided to shave most of my hair off and bleach it blonde. Yep, I'm finally going blonde - I've wanted to do it for nearly 30 years but have always chickened out as I thought my mother would disapprove (believe me, I KNOW I have mummy issues and there isn't enough room in this post to go into it). Now, this decision was also based on the idea that the newly installed wet room would mean I can shower regularly and wash/dye my hair myself - some independence at last!! Into the third week of the renovation (that was meant to last a week to ten days), and the hope is dwindling. My birthday is Friday and although the shower is working (at the moment), the water pump is not which means the water doesn't drain away.
We don't need another flood and the cats object to getting their paws wet, so no shower for me.
It's been - well, difficult is the polite word for it. I'm not sleeping; the cats are stressed because of strangers in and out all day as well as the noise; Stripes is stressed because she's trying to look after everyone and make it all okay when it's completely out of her control; and Little Monster gives no f*cks whatsoever because that's her MO. Things got even more stressful when Little Monster called from school on Friday saying she wasn't feeling well. She threw up on Sunday which meant mandatory two days off school - during which time she has driven both me and Stripes completely insane. Thank God she's going back tomorrow, but not before making sure to pass her leurgy on to me. Which is why I'm awake at 05:39 on a Tuesday night, when I should be resting/sleeping. I'm halfway through a roll of toilet paper blowing my nose and wishing that sneezing didn't make my back seize up nearly every single time. The pain of trying NOT to sneeze is almost as bad as the pain when I do!
So, very quick catch up because I should at least attempt to turn the lights off, put on the CPAP mask and close my eyes before 6 am.
January : I helped make one batch of soap. Stripes has made several more and they are getting more beautiful and more intricate as she goes. Beautiful enough to use as birthday presents for family and for them to ask where we got them from.
February:
March: to be decided, although hopefully keto will still be ongoing and my eyebrows will be becoming bushy!
We went to the Dr in January for a smear test. And it was just as enjoyable as you might expect. The room they wanted us to get to was awkward with the wheelchair - sort of round a corner and through a narrow doorway into a small room; the bed they wanted me to lie on was narrow and kinda scary; and the privacy was non-existent to be frank. But hey, I managed it and the results were fine so check that off the list. The next doctor's appointment was worse because the room where it was held was through a doorway that was too narrow for the wheelchair, so I had to lean against the wall whilst Stripes semi-put the chair down and dragged it through the doorway, set it up again and caught me as I collapsed into an ungainly heap. No members of staff tried to help us - a member of the public kept the door open for us to get through.
And this is a relatively new doctor's surgery which has disabled parking, some automatic doors and lifts. It beggars belief, it really does.
So I haven't been out and about much - a trip to Asda has been the most adventurous I've got, and that was FUN because I was on a mobility scooter and could race Stripes and Little Monster down the aisles!
I will try to write more, but I've been feeling rather low and rather useless - what do I have to write when I don't go anywhere or do anything?
Well apart from the Thirty Seconds to Mars concert we are booked to go to in March; and that rain or shine, we are going to the cinema to see 'Black Panther'; and probably going to the cinema to see 'Fifty Shades Freed' because not only is it delicious trash, but it has Tyler Hoechlin in it and he is one of my current 'crushes' (six years and counting so far). But apart from that, we won't be going out much, honest.
Yeah, I'll write more - I promise!
There's the meeting with the Doctor where weight loss surgery was suggested. The follow-up meeting where it was chased up. And the two friends who have undergone said surgery in the last three months alone.
I've been following keto since December, with a break for Christmas, and according to the scales have lost the grand total of 11 lbs. Near-daily photos of my face show a difference but that could just be lighting, eyebrow makeup and the angle of the phone - according to me anyway.
For my birthday, I decided to shave most of my hair off and bleach it blonde. Yep, I'm finally going blonde - I've wanted to do it for nearly 30 years but have always chickened out as I thought my mother would disapprove (believe me, I KNOW I have mummy issues and there isn't enough room in this post to go into it). Now, this decision was also based on the idea that the newly installed wet room would mean I can shower regularly and wash/dye my hair myself - some independence at last!! Into the third week of the renovation (that was meant to last a week to ten days), and the hope is dwindling. My birthday is Friday and although the shower is working (at the moment), the water pump is not which means the water doesn't drain away.
We don't need another flood and the cats object to getting their paws wet, so no shower for me.
It's been - well, difficult is the polite word for it. I'm not sleeping; the cats are stressed because of strangers in and out all day as well as the noise; Stripes is stressed because she's trying to look after everyone and make it all okay when it's completely out of her control; and Little Monster gives no f*cks whatsoever because that's her MO. Things got even more stressful when Little Monster called from school on Friday saying she wasn't feeling well. She threw up on Sunday which meant mandatory two days off school - during which time she has driven both me and Stripes completely insane. Thank God she's going back tomorrow, but not before making sure to pass her leurgy on to me. Which is why I'm awake at 05:39 on a Tuesday night, when I should be resting/sleeping. I'm halfway through a roll of toilet paper blowing my nose and wishing that sneezing didn't make my back seize up nearly every single time. The pain of trying NOT to sneeze is almost as bad as the pain when I do!
So, very quick catch up because I should at least attempt to turn the lights off, put on the CPAP mask and close my eyes before 6 am.
January : I helped make one batch of soap. Stripes has made several more and they are getting more beautiful and more intricate as she goes. Beautiful enough to use as birthday presents for family and for them to ask where we got them from.
February:
- grow my eyebrows (they are shamefully sparse),
- bleach my hair
- live in the shower for at least a week
- keep on keto
March: to be decided, although hopefully keto will still be ongoing and my eyebrows will be becoming bushy!
We went to the Dr in January for a smear test. And it was just as enjoyable as you might expect. The room they wanted us to get to was awkward with the wheelchair - sort of round a corner and through a narrow doorway into a small room; the bed they wanted me to lie on was narrow and kinda scary; and the privacy was non-existent to be frank. But hey, I managed it and the results were fine so check that off the list. The next doctor's appointment was worse because the room where it was held was through a doorway that was too narrow for the wheelchair, so I had to lean against the wall whilst Stripes semi-put the chair down and dragged it through the doorway, set it up again and caught me as I collapsed into an ungainly heap. No members of staff tried to help us - a member of the public kept the door open for us to get through.
And this is a relatively new doctor's surgery which has disabled parking, some automatic doors and lifts. It beggars belief, it really does.
So I haven't been out and about much - a trip to Asda has been the most adventurous I've got, and that was FUN because I was on a mobility scooter and could race Stripes and Little Monster down the aisles!
I will try to write more, but I've been feeling rather low and rather useless - what do I have to write when I don't go anywhere or do anything?
Well apart from the Thirty Seconds to Mars concert we are booked to go to in March; and that rain or shine, we are going to the cinema to see 'Black Panther'; and probably going to the cinema to see 'Fifty Shades Freed' because not only is it delicious trash, but it has Tyler Hoechlin in it and he is one of my current 'crushes' (six years and counting so far). But apart from that, we won't be going out much, honest.
Yeah, I'll write more - I promise!
The Never Ending Story
OK, that might be exaggerating a little bit, because it's almost over with. I bloody hope it is, anyway.
I had hoped to have a post set up for the end of January, when our bathroom work was due to be done. But, as is often the case with our luck, works have taken longer than expected. Then things stopped working. Then they started working, and something else stopped working. To be honest with you, it's kind of the story of our lives.
A bit of backstory. When Wheelz, Lil Monster and I moved in August, we moved into a property that an occupational therapist said needed to be converted. This was absolutely fine with us. Wheelz's physical restraints mean that a bath is too much to manage, whereas a shower should be absolutely fine. The grant took a while to come through, but eventually, at the end of last year, we were given a date in January when work would begin.
We were incredibly excited. As I said, it would mean so much for Wheelz especially. She could take showers independently, with no worries about getting in or out of the bath. She'd be able to wash her hair properly, instead of using the no-rinse shampoo from the care supply shop. The work that needed doing, which they predicted would take a week to ten days, would be well worth the initial inconvenience of having workers in, right?
Well... I suppose so. But it's not done yet.
When the work first started, it was tough to get used to. Early mornings blighted by incredibly loud noise from drilling, and removing tiles, and rerouting plumbing. People flitting in and out of our home, with no introduction and few explanations. The cats were freaking out at the intruders, spending a lot of time hiding, and not eating, and keeping very close to us for protection.
For a few nights, Wheelz had to sleep on the sofa, because it was too much for her to cart all of her stuff (painkiller drawer, CPAP machine, duvet, crutches etc,) through to the living room. The dust kicked up, made her asthma worse. The tools and supplies made our flat a veritable assault course to get from one end to the other. The kitchen was filled with toilet cisterns and new sinks, whilst my bedroom doorway held shower rails and parts.
We spent two days barely able to get through the front door because of the giant box that housed the shower gates.
Saturday mornings weren't exempt either. Our plumber wanted the job done as soon as possible, which meant starting early, working weekends and bringing in extra help/apprentices (his identity was never made clear to us).
We spent time poring over tile colours and floor coverings to make our selections, sweeping up the debris caused by builders wandering through the flat and keeping our fingers crossed that they would be finished soon.
And, thank God, they said they were. On Saturday just gone, 3/2/18, he said he was finished. He showed me the shower, and told me that we just had to wait on the electrician to hook it up, and it was ready. He walked me through the issue with the boiler and explained that he'd complete the radiator just as soon as we got it repressured (?), so that he wouldn't overload it and cut off our heating.
I'll tell you, Wheelz and I rejoiced. We'd spent the last two weeks managing with strip washes in the sink, and were desperate for a proper shower, with hot water and handmade soap- which I promise, I will eventually get around to posting about.
The electrician showed up yesterday morning. He disappeared into the bathroom for a while, whilst we waited with bated breath to hear that the shower was done. Then we heard him on the phone to the plumber. There was an issue, the said. The circuit board wasn't working. No bother. A quick job, which they would pop around this morning and fix. We tempered our disappointment, and waited for them today.
The plumber showed up this morning. He brought the new circuit board, and reiterated that it was an easy fix. He disappeared into the bathroom. An hour or so later, he stuck his head around the door, and asked if I wanted to see the shower working. I nearly knocked him over, trying to get there so quick. And it worked! You pressed a button, water flowed out. I was ecstatic! He got me to sign off on his work, and bid me a good day. When Wheelz awoke, she wanted to come see the new shower, so that she could finally, finally use it.
Except, when Wheelz came to take a look, there was an issue. We pressed the on button, and it started flashing red.
Now, we're fairly capable, resourceful women. So we had a look through the manual, and managed to right the problem. For a few short minutes, it was great. We had flowing hot water!!
Then we noticed that the pump wasn't working. The water wasn't draining, and was in fact making it's way to the toilet with surprising speed. We got in touch with the plumber.
He came around to ours, and expressed surprise that it wasn't working properly. After all, it had been just fine when he had left, not even an hour before.
"That never happens. If there's ever a fault, it's with the shower or the pump, but never both."
Wheelz and I exchanged a droll look. With us, it can always be both.
So, the plumber took a look, dried up the floor, removed some tiles. An electrical fault, he thinks. So he called the electrician, who can't be with us until about three. The shower's fine, he said. No problem there at all. Just the pump not working.
So the electrician has to come by and try to fix it. If he can, the plumber will be back in the morning to replace the tiles. If not... well, I'm trying not to consider that possibility.
We need a shower back. For obvious reasons - the back of Lil Monster's neck is looking disturbingly grey - but also because Friday is Wheelz's birthday.
Historically, no matter how much organising and haranguing and threatening I do, something goes wrong on Wheelz's birthday. Whether it's Lil Monster kicking off, or Bible Sis refusing to get in touch or visit, or having to put the day off because of illness, there is always something.
It feels worse this year, because this was meant to be done. She was meant to get a hot shower, and some handmade soap and a new bleached hairstyle for her birthday. I'd planned it, made it work, willed it to be so, goddammit! But yet again, things are starting on a bad note, and it's not even something within my control.
So, we'll wait until later, to see if the electrician can fix it. And we'll manage if he doesn't, because that's what we always do.
But you mark my words, if this neverending story doesn't find a cut off point sometime very soon, I'm going to be having serious words with whatever cosmic forces have got it in for us!
I had hoped to have a post set up for the end of January, when our bathroom work was due to be done. But, as is often the case with our luck, works have taken longer than expected. Then things stopped working. Then they started working, and something else stopped working. To be honest with you, it's kind of the story of our lives.
A bit of backstory. When Wheelz, Lil Monster and I moved in August, we moved into a property that an occupational therapist said needed to be converted. This was absolutely fine with us. Wheelz's physical restraints mean that a bath is too much to manage, whereas a shower should be absolutely fine. The grant took a while to come through, but eventually, at the end of last year, we were given a date in January when work would begin.
We were incredibly excited. As I said, it would mean so much for Wheelz especially. She could take showers independently, with no worries about getting in or out of the bath. She'd be able to wash her hair properly, instead of using the no-rinse shampoo from the care supply shop. The work that needed doing, which they predicted would take a week to ten days, would be well worth the initial inconvenience of having workers in, right?
Well... I suppose so. But it's not done yet.
When the work first started, it was tough to get used to. Early mornings blighted by incredibly loud noise from drilling, and removing tiles, and rerouting plumbing. People flitting in and out of our home, with no introduction and few explanations. The cats were freaking out at the intruders, spending a lot of time hiding, and not eating, and keeping very close to us for protection.
For a few nights, Wheelz had to sleep on the sofa, because it was too much for her to cart all of her stuff (painkiller drawer, CPAP machine, duvet, crutches etc,) through to the living room. The dust kicked up, made her asthma worse. The tools and supplies made our flat a veritable assault course to get from one end to the other. The kitchen was filled with toilet cisterns and new sinks, whilst my bedroom doorway held shower rails and parts.
We spent two days barely able to get through the front door because of the giant box that housed the shower gates.
Saturday mornings weren't exempt either. Our plumber wanted the job done as soon as possible, which meant starting early, working weekends and bringing in extra help/apprentices (his identity was never made clear to us).
We spent time poring over tile colours and floor coverings to make our selections, sweeping up the debris caused by builders wandering through the flat and keeping our fingers crossed that they would be finished soon.
And, thank God, they said they were. On Saturday just gone, 3/2/18, he said he was finished. He showed me the shower, and told me that we just had to wait on the electrician to hook it up, and it was ready. He walked me through the issue with the boiler and explained that he'd complete the radiator just as soon as we got it repressured (?), so that he wouldn't overload it and cut off our heating.
I'll tell you, Wheelz and I rejoiced. We'd spent the last two weeks managing with strip washes in the sink, and were desperate for a proper shower, with hot water and handmade soap- which I promise, I will eventually get around to posting about.
The electrician showed up yesterday morning. He disappeared into the bathroom for a while, whilst we waited with bated breath to hear that the shower was done. Then we heard him on the phone to the plumber. There was an issue, the said. The circuit board wasn't working. No bother. A quick job, which they would pop around this morning and fix. We tempered our disappointment, and waited for them today.
The plumber showed up this morning. He brought the new circuit board, and reiterated that it was an easy fix. He disappeared into the bathroom. An hour or so later, he stuck his head around the door, and asked if I wanted to see the shower working. I nearly knocked him over, trying to get there so quick. And it worked! You pressed a button, water flowed out. I was ecstatic! He got me to sign off on his work, and bid me a good day. When Wheelz awoke, she wanted to come see the new shower, so that she could finally, finally use it.
Except, when Wheelz came to take a look, there was an issue. We pressed the on button, and it started flashing red.
Now, we're fairly capable, resourceful women. So we had a look through the manual, and managed to right the problem. For a few short minutes, it was great. We had flowing hot water!!
Then we noticed that the pump wasn't working. The water wasn't draining, and was in fact making it's way to the toilet with surprising speed. We got in touch with the plumber.
He came around to ours, and expressed surprise that it wasn't working properly. After all, it had been just fine when he had left, not even an hour before.
"That never happens. If there's ever a fault, it's with the shower or the pump, but never both."
Wheelz and I exchanged a droll look. With us, it can always be both.
So, the plumber took a look, dried up the floor, removed some tiles. An electrical fault, he thinks. So he called the electrician, who can't be with us until about three. The shower's fine, he said. No problem there at all. Just the pump not working.
So the electrician has to come by and try to fix it. If he can, the plumber will be back in the morning to replace the tiles. If not... well, I'm trying not to consider that possibility.
We need a shower back. For obvious reasons - the back of Lil Monster's neck is looking disturbingly grey - but also because Friday is Wheelz's birthday.
Historically, no matter how much organising and haranguing and threatening I do, something goes wrong on Wheelz's birthday. Whether it's Lil Monster kicking off, or Bible Sis refusing to get in touch or visit, or having to put the day off because of illness, there is always something.
It feels worse this year, because this was meant to be done. She was meant to get a hot shower, and some handmade soap and a new bleached hairstyle for her birthday. I'd planned it, made it work, willed it to be so, goddammit! But yet again, things are starting on a bad note, and it's not even something within my control.
So, we'll wait until later, to see if the electrician can fix it. And we'll manage if he doesn't, because that's what we always do.
But you mark my words, if this neverending story doesn't find a cut off point sometime very soon, I'm going to be having serious words with whatever cosmic forces have got it in for us!
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
October - whoops!
Well, that month went by quickly!!
Some of the lack of posting is down to ill health - I haven't been having the best of times. Some of it is down to laziness, and some of it is not knowing what to say.
We didn't manage to sort out our Floatation tank experience which is a shame. But we did manage to take care of our nails for the whole month - including nail gels, moisturising them daily, and basically growing them so long that they're a slight danger to the cats!
One tough part of October was the news that my PiP triburnal was set for 30th October. So I spent a lot of time worrying myself into the ground about whether or not I should go ahead with it. For those of you who don't know, after you receive your original result when you apply for PiP, you ask for a mandatory reconsideration if you don't agree with the decision. If you are still unhappy, you apply for a triburnal where you get to meet a Dr, a member of your peers and anothe person who question you and make the final decision. However, they can decide to take any award you have received away from you.
So imagine, you are applying for PiP for mental health issues such as anxiety. Imagine the DWP have already said no to you twice. You then get a chance to speak on your own behalf. But to do so, you have to sit in a room and discuss all of the things that make you anxious, how badly they impact on your life, how much help you need.
Imagine what this does to a person who is already suffering from anxiety. And that is why so many triburnal don't go ahead. Because it's an impossible situation - if you say the wrong thing, come across as too confident, don't meet their criteria, not only can they say no to adding to your award, you can lose what you already have.
Suffice it to say that after about 20 days of not sleeping properly, nightmares including waking nightmares, and all that is entailed, I decided that I couldn't go through with the triburnal. Not helped by the last time I attended one being warned quite strongly by the 'judge' that they could take away the award I already had. Even my advisor from the local council said that was a very strange thing for her to have emphasised quite so much - almost threatening.
So I have an award that lasts until 2021 and I will reapply then, taking into account any deterioration. And I'll see how that goes. Only three years to psyche myself up for that one!
In other news, I have Quingo coming round tomorrow to show me one of their scooters. I did explain to them that I don't have the finances at the moment but they said no pressure, and it would be great to see if it can fit into the back of the car, etc so if I do manage to save some money I know what I want to get.
And I wrote part of a story so my Muse has awoken,
November's task? The International Cake Festival that Stripes has entered and the Pet Show which is just an excuse to feed my insane desire for yet another furry beastie!
Some of the lack of posting is down to ill health - I haven't been having the best of times. Some of it is down to laziness, and some of it is not knowing what to say.
We didn't manage to sort out our Floatation tank experience which is a shame. But we did manage to take care of our nails for the whole month - including nail gels, moisturising them daily, and basically growing them so long that they're a slight danger to the cats!
One tough part of October was the news that my PiP triburnal was set for 30th October. So I spent a lot of time worrying myself into the ground about whether or not I should go ahead with it. For those of you who don't know, after you receive your original result when you apply for PiP, you ask for a mandatory reconsideration if you don't agree with the decision. If you are still unhappy, you apply for a triburnal where you get to meet a Dr, a member of your peers and anothe person who question you and make the final decision. However, they can decide to take any award you have received away from you.
So imagine, you are applying for PiP for mental health issues such as anxiety. Imagine the DWP have already said no to you twice. You then get a chance to speak on your own behalf. But to do so, you have to sit in a room and discuss all of the things that make you anxious, how badly they impact on your life, how much help you need.
Imagine what this does to a person who is already suffering from anxiety. And that is why so many triburnal don't go ahead. Because it's an impossible situation - if you say the wrong thing, come across as too confident, don't meet their criteria, not only can they say no to adding to your award, you can lose what you already have.
Suffice it to say that after about 20 days of not sleeping properly, nightmares including waking nightmares, and all that is entailed, I decided that I couldn't go through with the triburnal. Not helped by the last time I attended one being warned quite strongly by the 'judge' that they could take away the award I already had. Even my advisor from the local council said that was a very strange thing for her to have emphasised quite so much - almost threatening.
So I have an award that lasts until 2021 and I will reapply then, taking into account any deterioration. And I'll see how that goes. Only three years to psyche myself up for that one!
In other news, I have Quingo coming round tomorrow to show me one of their scooters. I did explain to them that I don't have the finances at the moment but they said no pressure, and it would be great to see if it can fit into the back of the car, etc so if I do manage to save some money I know what I want to get.
And I wrote part of a story so my Muse has awoken,
November's task? The International Cake Festival that Stripes has entered and the Pet Show which is just an excuse to feed my insane desire for yet another furry beastie!
Saturday, 16 September 2017
The Summer of Yes - and yes, I know it's practically Autumn!
As discussed with my Counsellor, this is the start of our new blog. Disabled access has become more important to us over the course of the last year.
Stripes has officially become Carer, although to be honest she's been doing that job for far longer than the records say. And Wheelz has accepted that following a TIA incident last March and a diagnosis of osteoarthritis in both knees that 'disabled' is a label that fits.
So, how friendly is the world to a disabled person who needs a wheelchair for 'long' distances, and a Carer trying to make life as normal as possible? Add to which, Stripes is quite a slender young lady and Wheelz is - well, ahem, politely put, Wheelz is morbidly obese and outweighs Stripes by quite a margin! So pushing the wheelchair in itself becomes a feat of endurance, strength and trying to ignore the nice people who think she needs a hand!
Sleep apnea was diagnosed last November, which means a CPAP machine - not great when sometimes claustrophobia is a problem. But me and the machine are getting on a bit better now. It helps when I can't catch my breath, or when hayfever makes me a sneeze machine.
To top it all off, we also have the challenge of a new teenager who has spent the last eight years acting out. Like, seriously acting out. We're talking violence, tantrums, wetting incidents - family support, CAMHS, TAF meetings at school - yeah, just loads.
So over the course of the summer, lots of things changed.
We moved from a second floor high rise flat to a ground floor, low rise flat in a different area. Major change for us - being stuck on the second floor when the lifts aren't working can lead to mega feelings of isolation, adds to depression plus the noise made it very easy to fall into a space where I just didn't want to exist. Fortunately, the house move has made a difference already - now if I could just sleep!
And finally, I decided to give the keto diet another try. I did Atkins years ago (didn't everyone?!) but it fell by the wayside for reasons I can't recollect now. But I haven't found myself able to stick to 5:2, despite finding some very handy products from Asda, and I NEED to do something about my weight.
Saturday 16th September is the start date. And we had fun with the following slicer that Stripes bought making a salad for lunch so as soon as I'm hungry it's ready.
Onions and mushrooms sliced and diced almost instantly made it fun and quick, so even if Stripes is out and about, I can do myself something to eat. I do have a dining chair in the kitchen that I sit on to do this stuff - I can't stand up for long periods of time without feeling dizzy and in pain. Am going to try to do this clean i.e. no fake-bake to start with, just keeping it simple by keeping my carb intake below 25grams per day. We shall see.
So it's taken months to actually get as far as doing a first post for here. We have also finally used a photo of one of our cats for the header - personalisation is the plan but it might take time. Here goes nothing!
Stripes has officially become Carer, although to be honest she's been doing that job for far longer than the records say. And Wheelz has accepted that following a TIA incident last March and a diagnosis of osteoarthritis in both knees that 'disabled' is a label that fits.
So, how friendly is the world to a disabled person who needs a wheelchair for 'long' distances, and a Carer trying to make life as normal as possible? Add to which, Stripes is quite a slender young lady and Wheelz is - well, ahem, politely put, Wheelz is morbidly obese and outweighs Stripes by quite a margin! So pushing the wheelchair in itself becomes a feat of endurance, strength and trying to ignore the nice people who think she needs a hand!
Sleep apnea was diagnosed last November, which means a CPAP machine - not great when sometimes claustrophobia is a problem. But me and the machine are getting on a bit better now. It helps when I can't catch my breath, or when hayfever makes me a sneeze machine.
To top it all off, we also have the challenge of a new teenager who has spent the last eight years acting out. Like, seriously acting out. We're talking violence, tantrums, wetting incidents - family support, CAMHS, TAF meetings at school - yeah, just loads.
So over the course of the summer, lots of things changed.
We moved from a second floor high rise flat to a ground floor, low rise flat in a different area. Major change for us - being stuck on the second floor when the lifts aren't working can lead to mega feelings of isolation, adds to depression plus the noise made it very easy to fall into a space where I just didn't want to exist. Fortunately, the house move has made a difference already - now if I could just sleep!
And finally, I decided to give the keto diet another try. I did Atkins years ago (didn't everyone?!) but it fell by the wayside for reasons I can't recollect now. But I haven't found myself able to stick to 5:2, despite finding some very handy products from Asda, and I NEED to do something about my weight.
Saturday 16th September is the start date. And we had fun with the following slicer that Stripes bought making a salad for lunch so as soon as I'm hungry it's ready.
Onions and mushrooms sliced and diced almost instantly made it fun and quick, so even if Stripes is out and about, I can do myself something to eat. I do have a dining chair in the kitchen that I sit on to do this stuff - I can't stand up for long periods of time without feeling dizzy and in pain. Am going to try to do this clean i.e. no fake-bake to start with, just keeping it simple by keeping my carb intake below 25grams per day. We shall see.
So it's taken months to actually get as far as doing a first post for here. We have also finally used a photo of one of our cats for the header - personalisation is the plan but it might take time. Here goes nothing!
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