You didn't really think I was going to be able to blog constantly did you? I did think about it, but I went down with a cold and a severe case of sloth-city, and therefore no blogging.
I had my CPAP review at the beginning of March. Good news? I used to stop breathing 89 times per hour when sleeping. Yeah, you read that right - 89 times per hour 😨😨😨 Now, its more like 4 - 5 times per hour (anything less than 5 is considered normal). They want me to get a better sleep pattern but are happy with my progress and my appointments are now patient led - basically, they don't call me, I call them if I need anything.
Bad news? I got on their scales expecting to see a drop. The last time I was weighed there, I was 182 kgs - that was in March 2017. When I started keto, I was around the same (so I believed). This time their scales said 191 kgs (including my boots - that's important, honest). So I had put on nearly 10 kgs in a year. I was horrified. Terrified. Sad af. Poor Stripes had to comfort me whilst the nurse I was seeing tried to figure out how to make me feel better (it could be worse, you know now so you can do something about it, etc etc).
We left the appointment and I had to put a smile on my face as Lil Monster was with us, as well as a friend, and we were off to see Black Panther (go see it - life-changing, Wakanda Forever). Loved the movie - had a great time - got home and basically curled up in bed and sobbed like a child. I think I actually cried myself to sleep, that's how sad I was feeling.
I've been following keto since the beginning of January. I think I've had a couple of slips - (I attacked Stripes for a chocolate digestive last week, it wasn't pretty but it tasted lovely) - and I had some baileys in my hot chocolate one night last week. But apart from that, I've been a good girl. No bread, potatoes, pasta, rice since the beginning of January. Spinach is my vegetable of choice. Water. Atkins bars.
Now it could be the Atkins bars - one per day as a treat since I gave up cream cheese cheesecake as I was close to over-dosing on it and I found it too moreish. They fitted into my macros - I was watching YouTube videos and joining keto groups on facebook and reading feverishly to see what I could do to make things work better. But the scales don't agree.
I've weighed myself twice since that CPAP review, and each time I've put weight on. We're not even sure it's physically possible and are seriously considering that the scales might say they can weigh that high, but they can't cope. But I don't feel smaller, don't look smaller, my clothes don't fit better.
So it looks like keto isn't working for me. Or maybe I'm not doing keto the right way. Either way, it's been two months and I've seen zero weight loss. So time for a change.
Stripes and I had a chat and I've decided to give VLCD another try. I was successful on the Cambridge Diet about 14 years ago - lost 100 lbs - but life got in the way in the form of my unsupportive spouse, financial devastation, physical problems - and the weight crept back on.
I've been watching YouTube videos to see people's experiences - to see if things have changed; and I've been surfing the internet to find the cheapest way to follow the plan. I've found a deal on Exante products, so have ordered 25 days worth of products and once they arrive, I will slide from keto into meal replacements. I want to stick to it for at least one month - if it's working, maybe I'll just keep going.
Terrified in case it doesn't work - haven't heard anything back from the Dr's surgery or the weight loss clinic. Terrified in case it does work - it was a mind-f*ck losing all that weight all those years ago. And maybe, tentatively hopeful?
Maybe you'll hear more from me as I go through this. No promises though.
Showing posts with label Keto Diet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Keto Diet. Show all posts
Sunday, 4 March 2018
Tuesday, 6 February 2018
Happy birthday to me.....well, nearly!
I'm 48 on Friday and my head is abuzz.
There's the meeting with the Doctor where weight loss surgery was suggested. The follow-up meeting where it was chased up. And the two friends who have undergone said surgery in the last three months alone.
I've been following keto since December, with a break for Christmas, and according to the scales have lost the grand total of 11 lbs. Near-daily photos of my face show a difference but that could just be lighting, eyebrow makeup and the angle of the phone - according to me anyway.
For my birthday, I decided to shave most of my hair off and bleach it blonde. Yep, I'm finally going blonde - I've wanted to do it for nearly 30 years but have always chickened out as I thought my mother would disapprove (believe me, I KNOW I have mummy issues and there isn't enough room in this post to go into it). Now, this decision was also based on the idea that the newly installed wet room would mean I can shower regularly and wash/dye my hair myself - some independence at last!! Into the third week of the renovation (that was meant to last a week to ten days), and the hope is dwindling. My birthday is Friday and although the shower is working (at the moment), the water pump is not which means the water doesn't drain away.
We don't need another flood and the cats object to getting their paws wet, so no shower for me.
It's been - well, difficult is the polite word for it. I'm not sleeping; the cats are stressed because of strangers in and out all day as well as the noise; Stripes is stressed because she's trying to look after everyone and make it all okay when it's completely out of her control; and Little Monster gives no f*cks whatsoever because that's her MO. Things got even more stressful when Little Monster called from school on Friday saying she wasn't feeling well. She threw up on Sunday which meant mandatory two days off school - during which time she has driven both me and Stripes completely insane. Thank God she's going back tomorrow, but not before making sure to pass her leurgy on to me. Which is why I'm awake at 05:39 on a Tuesday night, when I should be resting/sleeping. I'm halfway through a roll of toilet paper blowing my nose and wishing that sneezing didn't make my back seize up nearly every single time. The pain of trying NOT to sneeze is almost as bad as the pain when I do!
So, very quick catch up because I should at least attempt to turn the lights off, put on the CPAP mask and close my eyes before 6 am.
January : I helped make one batch of soap. Stripes has made several more and they are getting more beautiful and more intricate as she goes. Beautiful enough to use as birthday presents for family and for them to ask where we got them from.
February:
March: to be decided, although hopefully keto will still be ongoing and my eyebrows will be becoming bushy!
We went to the Dr in January for a smear test. And it was just as enjoyable as you might expect. The room they wanted us to get to was awkward with the wheelchair - sort of round a corner and through a narrow doorway into a small room; the bed they wanted me to lie on was narrow and kinda scary; and the privacy was non-existent to be frank. But hey, I managed it and the results were fine so check that off the list. The next doctor's appointment was worse because the room where it was held was through a doorway that was too narrow for the wheelchair, so I had to lean against the wall whilst Stripes semi-put the chair down and dragged it through the doorway, set it up again and caught me as I collapsed into an ungainly heap. No members of staff tried to help us - a member of the public kept the door open for us to get through.
And this is a relatively new doctor's surgery which has disabled parking, some automatic doors and lifts. It beggars belief, it really does.
So I haven't been out and about much - a trip to Asda has been the most adventurous I've got, and that was FUN because I was on a mobility scooter and could race Stripes and Little Monster down the aisles!
I will try to write more, but I've been feeling rather low and rather useless - what do I have to write when I don't go anywhere or do anything?
Well apart from the Thirty Seconds to Mars concert we are booked to go to in March; and that rain or shine, we are going to the cinema to see 'Black Panther'; and probably going to the cinema to see 'Fifty Shades Freed' because not only is it delicious trash, but it has Tyler Hoechlin in it and he is one of my current 'crushes' (six years and counting so far). But apart from that, we won't be going out much, honest.
Yeah, I'll write more - I promise!
There's the meeting with the Doctor where weight loss surgery was suggested. The follow-up meeting where it was chased up. And the two friends who have undergone said surgery in the last three months alone.
I've been following keto since December, with a break for Christmas, and according to the scales have lost the grand total of 11 lbs. Near-daily photos of my face show a difference but that could just be lighting, eyebrow makeup and the angle of the phone - according to me anyway.
For my birthday, I decided to shave most of my hair off and bleach it blonde. Yep, I'm finally going blonde - I've wanted to do it for nearly 30 years but have always chickened out as I thought my mother would disapprove (believe me, I KNOW I have mummy issues and there isn't enough room in this post to go into it). Now, this decision was also based on the idea that the newly installed wet room would mean I can shower regularly and wash/dye my hair myself - some independence at last!! Into the third week of the renovation (that was meant to last a week to ten days), and the hope is dwindling. My birthday is Friday and although the shower is working (at the moment), the water pump is not which means the water doesn't drain away.
We don't need another flood and the cats object to getting their paws wet, so no shower for me.
It's been - well, difficult is the polite word for it. I'm not sleeping; the cats are stressed because of strangers in and out all day as well as the noise; Stripes is stressed because she's trying to look after everyone and make it all okay when it's completely out of her control; and Little Monster gives no f*cks whatsoever because that's her MO. Things got even more stressful when Little Monster called from school on Friday saying she wasn't feeling well. She threw up on Sunday which meant mandatory two days off school - during which time she has driven both me and Stripes completely insane. Thank God she's going back tomorrow, but not before making sure to pass her leurgy on to me. Which is why I'm awake at 05:39 on a Tuesday night, when I should be resting/sleeping. I'm halfway through a roll of toilet paper blowing my nose and wishing that sneezing didn't make my back seize up nearly every single time. The pain of trying NOT to sneeze is almost as bad as the pain when I do!
So, very quick catch up because I should at least attempt to turn the lights off, put on the CPAP mask and close my eyes before 6 am.
January : I helped make one batch of soap. Stripes has made several more and they are getting more beautiful and more intricate as she goes. Beautiful enough to use as birthday presents for family and for them to ask where we got them from.
February:
- grow my eyebrows (they are shamefully sparse),
- bleach my hair
- live in the shower for at least a week
- keep on keto
March: to be decided, although hopefully keto will still be ongoing and my eyebrows will be becoming bushy!
We went to the Dr in January for a smear test. And it was just as enjoyable as you might expect. The room they wanted us to get to was awkward with the wheelchair - sort of round a corner and through a narrow doorway into a small room; the bed they wanted me to lie on was narrow and kinda scary; and the privacy was non-existent to be frank. But hey, I managed it and the results were fine so check that off the list. The next doctor's appointment was worse because the room where it was held was through a doorway that was too narrow for the wheelchair, so I had to lean against the wall whilst Stripes semi-put the chair down and dragged it through the doorway, set it up again and caught me as I collapsed into an ungainly heap. No members of staff tried to help us - a member of the public kept the door open for us to get through.
And this is a relatively new doctor's surgery which has disabled parking, some automatic doors and lifts. It beggars belief, it really does.
So I haven't been out and about much - a trip to Asda has been the most adventurous I've got, and that was FUN because I was on a mobility scooter and could race Stripes and Little Monster down the aisles!
I will try to write more, but I've been feeling rather low and rather useless - what do I have to write when I don't go anywhere or do anything?
Well apart from the Thirty Seconds to Mars concert we are booked to go to in March; and that rain or shine, we are going to the cinema to see 'Black Panther'; and probably going to the cinema to see 'Fifty Shades Freed' because not only is it delicious trash, but it has Tyler Hoechlin in it and he is one of my current 'crushes' (six years and counting so far). But apart from that, we won't be going out much, honest.
Yeah, I'll write more - I promise!
Saturday, 16 September 2017
The Summer of Yes - and yes, I know it's practically Autumn!
As discussed with my Counsellor, this is the start of our new blog. Disabled access has become more important to us over the course of the last year.
Stripes has officially become Carer, although to be honest she's been doing that job for far longer than the records say. And Wheelz has accepted that following a TIA incident last March and a diagnosis of osteoarthritis in both knees that 'disabled' is a label that fits.
So, how friendly is the world to a disabled person who needs a wheelchair for 'long' distances, and a Carer trying to make life as normal as possible? Add to which, Stripes is quite a slender young lady and Wheelz is - well, ahem, politely put, Wheelz is morbidly obese and outweighs Stripes by quite a margin! So pushing the wheelchair in itself becomes a feat of endurance, strength and trying to ignore the nice people who think she needs a hand!
Sleep apnea was diagnosed last November, which means a CPAP machine - not great when sometimes claustrophobia is a problem. But me and the machine are getting on a bit better now. It helps when I can't catch my breath, or when hayfever makes me a sneeze machine.
To top it all off, we also have the challenge of a new teenager who has spent the last eight years acting out. Like, seriously acting out. We're talking violence, tantrums, wetting incidents - family support, CAMHS, TAF meetings at school - yeah, just loads.
So over the course of the summer, lots of things changed.
We moved from a second floor high rise flat to a ground floor, low rise flat in a different area. Major change for us - being stuck on the second floor when the lifts aren't working can lead to mega feelings of isolation, adds to depression plus the noise made it very easy to fall into a space where I just didn't want to exist. Fortunately, the house move has made a difference already - now if I could just sleep!
And finally, I decided to give the keto diet another try. I did Atkins years ago (didn't everyone?!) but it fell by the wayside for reasons I can't recollect now. But I haven't found myself able to stick to 5:2, despite finding some very handy products from Asda, and I NEED to do something about my weight.
Saturday 16th September is the start date. And we had fun with the following slicer that Stripes bought making a salad for lunch so as soon as I'm hungry it's ready.
Onions and mushrooms sliced and diced almost instantly made it fun and quick, so even if Stripes is out and about, I can do myself something to eat. I do have a dining chair in the kitchen that I sit on to do this stuff - I can't stand up for long periods of time without feeling dizzy and in pain. Am going to try to do this clean i.e. no fake-bake to start with, just keeping it simple by keeping my carb intake below 25grams per day. We shall see.
So it's taken months to actually get as far as doing a first post for here. We have also finally used a photo of one of our cats for the header - personalisation is the plan but it might take time. Here goes nothing!
Stripes has officially become Carer, although to be honest she's been doing that job for far longer than the records say. And Wheelz has accepted that following a TIA incident last March and a diagnosis of osteoarthritis in both knees that 'disabled' is a label that fits.
So, how friendly is the world to a disabled person who needs a wheelchair for 'long' distances, and a Carer trying to make life as normal as possible? Add to which, Stripes is quite a slender young lady and Wheelz is - well, ahem, politely put, Wheelz is morbidly obese and outweighs Stripes by quite a margin! So pushing the wheelchair in itself becomes a feat of endurance, strength and trying to ignore the nice people who think she needs a hand!
Sleep apnea was diagnosed last November, which means a CPAP machine - not great when sometimes claustrophobia is a problem. But me and the machine are getting on a bit better now. It helps when I can't catch my breath, or when hayfever makes me a sneeze machine.
To top it all off, we also have the challenge of a new teenager who has spent the last eight years acting out. Like, seriously acting out. We're talking violence, tantrums, wetting incidents - family support, CAMHS, TAF meetings at school - yeah, just loads.
So over the course of the summer, lots of things changed.
We moved from a second floor high rise flat to a ground floor, low rise flat in a different area. Major change for us - being stuck on the second floor when the lifts aren't working can lead to mega feelings of isolation, adds to depression plus the noise made it very easy to fall into a space where I just didn't want to exist. Fortunately, the house move has made a difference already - now if I could just sleep!
And finally, I decided to give the keto diet another try. I did Atkins years ago (didn't everyone?!) but it fell by the wayside for reasons I can't recollect now. But I haven't found myself able to stick to 5:2, despite finding some very handy products from Asda, and I NEED to do something about my weight.
Saturday 16th September is the start date. And we had fun with the following slicer that Stripes bought making a salad for lunch so as soon as I'm hungry it's ready.
Onions and mushrooms sliced and diced almost instantly made it fun and quick, so even if Stripes is out and about, I can do myself something to eat. I do have a dining chair in the kitchen that I sit on to do this stuff - I can't stand up for long periods of time without feeling dizzy and in pain. Am going to try to do this clean i.e. no fake-bake to start with, just keeping it simple by keeping my carb intake below 25grams per day. We shall see.
So it's taken months to actually get as far as doing a first post for here. We have also finally used a photo of one of our cats for the header - personalisation is the plan but it might take time. Here goes nothing!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)