Cake International, entries open

Double post today. The snow means I've got little to do at the minute.

I posted in November about Cake International, a big show that takes place at the NEC. We attended, and I entered one of the many competitions.

Entry has just recently opened for this year's event. It's a big deal this year, their 25th anniversary, and so the only CI this year will be in Birmingham. That's a huge deal, as it means it'll likely be bigger than ever.

I've entered a competition at CI for the last three years, and other competitions before that, including Salon Culinnaire.
But I'm really apprehensive about this year.

I think it's because of last time. It's not necessarily the disqualification that's putting me off, although it's not something I'd like to repeat!
I think it's the not knowing. A variety of circumstances meant that I wasn't able to get the judge's feedback, meaning that I still have no idea why I was disqualified. The idea of going back there, the embarrassment and the shame, means that it's hard to entertain the notion of willingly doing that again.

But at the same time... part of the reason I do it, is because it's something that's mine and mine alone. It's a way to stay connected to the creative path I started to undertake when I went to college. It's time that I put into myself, holed away in our spare room, creating. And it's not like I don't have ideas. I've had an idea rattling around my head since last November. So part of me thinks it's just a case of giving myself a shake and doing it. Right?

The other problem is...
For the past few years, Wheelz has gotten up at 6am to drive me to the NEC, so that I can drop off my entry. This is mainly because we live in Birmingham, and objectively, we're not too far from the NEC, so it makes more sense than me staying at a hotel nearby, for example. I've always been incredibly grateful to her for this, because it means there's one less thing I have to worry about.
But on the other hand. Is it fair for me to keep asking that of her? I know that she'd probably (probably!) tell me if she really didn't think she was up to it. But I also know that she'd try and make herself drive anyway, being as it's for me.
So does that mean I'm taking advantage if I ask her? Or is that me being ridiculous?

I don't know. I need to think about it. I don't want to cut myself off from something that I do genuinely enjoy doing. This kind of feels like something that anxiety could take away from me, and I don't want that.
So then, I should do it. Right? Just give myself a shake, and fill in the entry form, and get started.
That's what I should do.
That's what I will do.



I think...