Showcase Cinema- please don't ever change

No, really. Don't. Please.

Anyone who deals with any level of disability knows how difficult it can be to get out and about. You'll know how hard it can be to find places that will accommodate a wheelchair easily, with no issues with flooring and so on. One of the few places that Wheelz and I have found is Showcase cinemas.

There are two near us; Walsall and Dudley.

We visited Walsall at the start of the summer, with Lil Monster in tow.
The trip was not a success. The disabled doors weren't clearly marked, which meant that Wheelz had to wander about until a kindly gentleman pointed it out for her.. The carpet joins were raised, meaning that she couldn't just wheel over them, and meet us in the theatre. The girl at the kiosk wasn't clear about how the tickets worked, so we had to sit at the back, in the premier seats, and hope like hell that they didn't come along and ask us to move.

Suffice it to say, we were concerned about our next trip to the cinema.

But it seems we needn't have worried. Last week, Wheelz and I took ourselves off to Dudley, to go and see the new Kingsman movie (which, by the way, we highly recommend).
The disabled parking behind the cinema is really close to the doors. The doors open wide enough for Wheelz's chair to fit through with minimal problems. We arrived slightly early for the screening we wanted, but this just gave us time to stop by the toilets before heading to our pre-booked seats.
Wheelz was able to stay in her chair for the cinema, with me sat beside her. There is a slope to get into the actual theater, but as issues go, it's not insurmountable.
We were actually able to enjoy ourselves. There was legroom, where we were sat. We were close to the exit, in case we'd needed to leave. It was a fantastic experience.

We'll go back to Showcase Dudley, for sure. Perhaps not to the X-Plus room, which boasts surround sound and a multiple dimension film experience or something. All that meant to Wheelz and I was that we left with a mild headache.
But it's so fantastic to know that, despite dealing with Wheelz's physical disability, we can still do normal things like go out and see and film. It doesn't have to be a palaver. We can just go out and have a laugh, have some fun.

We're planning on visiting again, as there are plenty of films we want to see. Thor: Ragnarok, Justice League, Jumanji. Roll on, November...

Never Have I Ever......

...had a pedicure. I don't like my feet. Stripes doesn't like her feet. The most we've done for them is the whole footner thing (can recommend if only to watch sheets of skin falling off of your feet).

But being pre-diabetic has made me more aware of my extremities and needing to take care of them. I think I read somewhere about bad circulation and dry skin being one of the symptoms? I could be completely wrong.

So with Lil Monster at school, Stripes and I decided to visit a local salon and have a pedicure, as previously frequented and recommended by my Mother.  We called up the day before and booked ourselves in, made sure to get the cash out and prepared ourselves for a little luxury.

Hmmm, not sure that's quite what happened. Firstly, parking was a nightmare! Don't you hate it when there's a small parking section outside shops with room for maybe three cars and two cars decide they need to stretch out? Yep, right outside the salon with no way I was getting our behemoth into the small space between the two vehicles. I don't drive as much as I used to - stress, anxiety, pain, etc - and my parking skills have deteriorated. Reversing into spaces - heck yeah, I can do that. Parallel parking - well that takes a few deep breaths and a decent space.

So we drove around the block until we found a space that was relatively close and parked up. Cue the fun of getting the wheelchair out of the car and trundling over the uneven footpath to get to the shop. Stripes went ahead to check that there was room for my wheelchair and was told yeah, sure, they'd open the door wide to make sure I could get the wheelchair in.

This is a small salon - I got the wheelchair in fine, but it basically took up most of the shop floor.  I took a seat to get my breath back. The owner of the store was busy on the phone;  staff member one was threading the eyebrows of a client and staff member two was for us. Guess we should have confirmed that we would be having the pedicures at the same time.

I'm not sure what I was expecting - maybe I watch too much TV - but basically, Stripes sat in a salon chair whilst one of those feet massager things (that you can get from JML etc) was filled with boiling water from a kettle. Then staff member 2 added some cold water and asked Stripes to confirm the temperature was alright.  In went the footsies plus some bubble bath (no word of a lie, I'm pretty sure it was just bubble bath) and the buttons were pressed so the little machine could do it's thing.

I was sat trying to make myself and the wheelchair as small as possible (mission impossible) whilst slowly roasting because they had a gas-heater turned on in the corner of the room, throwing out chunks of heat.  Every time the door opened, I found myself apologising as people stumbled getting in to the salon (obviously not expecting a whacking great wheelchair to be taking up space) and were whipped in and out of the chairs at great speed. Eyebrow tinting, threading, chin waxing - you name it, it was performed as I sat alternating between watching Stripes squirming in her chair as her feet were massaged and creamed and seeing a slew of women being de-haired.

To be honest, I spent most of the time on my phone checking Facebook and trying not to feel like a blockage.  And worrying. Because every time Stripes had to take her feet out of the foot-spa thing, she had to lift them onto the lady's lap. And I wasn't sure I'd be able to do that. I have some mobility, but lifting and lowering my legs willy-nilly is a bit of a recipe for disaster for me - when I get tired, my feet start to drag and my legs feel like they weigh an absolute tonne (hence needing the wheelchair) so I was dreading having to perform leg lifts. 

We brought in our own nail varnish in case we didn't like any of their colours - good job too as the shelf with all of their nail varnishes on was in the corner of the store which I couldn't have got to unless I had my crutches with me and had been prepared to hobble around. After being slathered in all sort of creams and being lightly pumiced, Stripes was all done with pretty green toes looking rather spiffy. 

My turn. 

We realised there was no way I could get into the salon chair safely so decided to do the whole thing in my wheelchair.  Pulling up a chair, staff member realised I was too high up for her to do what she needed to do. She looked at me, I looked at her, and I realised she expected me to either slouch or find some way to lower myself to the right level for her.  Stripes and I shared a few speaking glances, then I realised that removing the seat pad in my wheelchair would bring me lower so that sorted that out.

I have really ticklish feet – part of the reason why I don’t like people touching them – so, when she started working on my foot, I started giggling. A touch embarrassing but I sort of expected it. She asked me if I was aware of how dry my feet were and I said yes. Staff member one peered over and said something to our worker in their own language, then turned to me and said I should try moisturising them every day as they were very dry. I said I understood and yes, that was part of why we were here – to help me start taking care of my feet. She then turned to her colleague and said something about a razor – colleague said no, that my feet were too sensitive – at which point she walked away. I felt a bit embarrassed (who the heck needs a razor to yank off the hard skin on their feet?!) but more was to come.

She returned, pulled up a chair, and proceeded to talk to her colleague, making suggestions as she worked on me, and encouraging her to use the razor numerous times instead of the metal pumice file. So I sat, squirmed, shifted around, did leg lifts taking my feet out of the water, back into the water, all the while they made comments about the mess I was making because I knocked the foot spa thing, and dead skin etc. was all over the floor. I wanted said floor to open up and swallow me whole.

I got cramp a couple of times from holding my legs up for her to work on my heel, and then, yuck, I fainted. It happens – sometimes it like my brain needs to reset, the world starts spinning and I blank out for a bit. Stripes is used to it – makes sure she’s the first thing I see, reassures me that I’m fine, reminds me where I am, that sort of thing. They were understandably worried – apparently, from outside it can be quite scary to see as ambulances get mentioned and people tend to wring their hands as they wonder what they can do to help – and offered me water or tea. No thanks – I just wanted this over and done with. More awkward shifting around in the chair and foot placement to enable her to paint my toenails. More comments about how dry my feet were, how much mess was caused soaking up the overspill of water from the spa, etc. Obviously I didn’t understand every single thing they said as I don’t speak their language. But some words are the same, and the few comments made directly to us made it perfectly plain what they were saying. I felt like an inconvenience – instead of being a pampering experience, I was exhausted, in pain, and generally feeling like if I never saw that salon again it would be too soon.

I know I can be over-sensitive. Hello, morbidly obese disabled woman used to being stared at, laughed at, ignored, etc. – of course I’m over-sensitive. But I expected more from the experience. I wouldn’t actually have minded the cut-price foot spa if we weren’t basically sat in the middle of the shop floor, with no privacy as people walked in and out of the store. I wouldn’t have minded the same tools being used on me as they were on Stripes if I had been able to see them being washed in between times. I could care less about them speaking to each other in their own language – I used to have manicures done in a small salon where I communicated with my stylist by pointing at what I wanted, nodding, grinning or shaking my head. I just hated feeling so completely out of place. I hated feeling like an inconvenience. Like parts of me – that admittedly aren’t pretty – were such a freak show that they needed to be commented on continuously.

So. Yes to having a pedicure again. No to having one done there again. My feet looked great – skin was smooth (or as smooth as the soles of my feet get); my toenails looked pretty with the blood-red nail varnish I chose. But I didn’t enjoy the experience and it certainly didn’t feel like the pampering it was meant to be.

Saying all of that, I did pop into that salon and have my eyebrows tinted – quick, painless, no extraneous comments made. Maybe I really do just have freaky feet?!

Did I mention, I bought me and Stripes a floatation tank experience from Groupon? Yeah, we might need to get cracking on booking that!

The summer of yes- even though it's already autumn...

Part of the summer of yes was supposed to be trying new things, taking as many opportunities as were presented to us.
Something that I'm told a lot as a carer is that I need something that's just for me. You know, a hobby or an activity that I do that's just for me. Quite how this works long term, considering the whole 'caring responsibilities' thing, I'm not sure.

But I decided to take this advice. At the end of August, I was given a voucher for aerial classes, as it was something I'd always loved the idea of trying.
I had my first lesson on Monday, and, well. For starters, walking into a class like that, when you're anxious and on your own, is a lot. Like, a LOT. I'm a fairly anxious person anyway, and new situations stress me out. My heart starts pounding, I start sweating. It's not a pretty sight.
But I walked in there anyway.
The lesson I went to- and will continue to go to, for the next five weeks- is held in a large hall. Suspended from the ceiling were aerial silks, a giant rope for Spanish web, trapezes, aerial hoops and straps. If I'm honest, they looked more like torture devices than something to have fun with.
I wasn't the only person there- I think there were about twelve of us- but I was definitely the most unexperienced. Whilst there, I learnt how to create a foot lock with the aerial silks, and how to hold a pose they call 'swan'. I learnt how to haul myself up onto the trapeze, and hang upside down without falling. I learnt how to turn myself in circles using only two straps suspended from the ceiling. My abs didn't thank me for learning that one, let me tell you.
I was surprised to realise, at the end of the session, that despite my fear, I'd had a lot of fun. So much so, that I'm actually kind of looking forward to the next session.

My next lesson is this coming Monday. I'm looking forward to it, although I'm not relishing the aching muscles that followed the day after. I'm not sure I'll keep going to these specific classes, or even aerial circus, after this voucher runs out. But I'm glad for the opportunity to try it, to give it a go and have some fun with it. That's what the summer of yes was supposed to be about, after all...

The Summer of Yes - and yes, I know it's practically Autumn!

As discussed with my Counsellor, this is the start of our new blog. Disabled access has become more important to us over the course of the last year.

Stripes has officially become Carer, although to be honest she's been doing that job for far longer than the records say. And Wheelz has accepted that following a TIA incident last March and a diagnosis of osteoarthritis in both knees that 'disabled' is a label that fits.

So, how friendly is the world to a disabled person who needs a wheelchair for 'long' distances, and a Carer trying to make life as normal as possible? Add to which, Stripes is quite a slender young lady and Wheelz is - well, ahem, politely put, Wheelz is morbidly obese and outweighs Stripes by quite a margin!  So pushing the wheelchair in itself becomes a feat of endurance, strength and trying to ignore the nice people who think she needs a hand!

Sleep apnea was diagnosed last November, which means a CPAP machine - not great when sometimes claustrophobia is a problem. But me and the machine are getting on a bit better now. It helps when I can't catch my breath, or when hayfever makes me a sneeze machine.

To top it all off, we also have the challenge of a new teenager who has spent the last eight years acting out. Like, seriously acting out. We're talking violence, tantrums, wetting incidents - family support, CAMHS, TAF meetings at school - yeah, just loads.

So over the course of the summer, lots of things changed.

We moved from a second floor high rise flat to a ground floor, low rise flat in a different area. Major change for us - being stuck on the second floor when the lifts aren't working can lead to mega feelings of isolation, adds to depression plus the noise made it very easy to fall into a space where I just didn't want to exist. Fortunately, the house move has made a difference already - now if I could just sleep!


And finally, I decided to give the keto diet another try. I did Atkins years ago (didn't everyone?!) but it fell by the wayside for reasons I can't recollect now. But I haven't found myself able to stick to 5:2, despite finding some very handy products from Asda, and I NEED to do something about my weight.

Saturday 16th September is the start date. And we had fun with the following slicer that Stripes bought making a salad for lunch so as soon as I'm hungry it's ready.

Onions and mushrooms sliced and diced almost instantly made it fun and quick, so even if Stripes is out and about, I can do myself something to eat. I do have a dining chair in the kitchen that I sit on to do this stuff - I can't stand up for long periods of time without feeling dizzy and in pain. Am going to try to do this clean i.e. no fake-bake to start with, just keeping it simple by keeping my carb intake below 25grams per day. We shall see.

So it's taken months to actually get as far as doing a first post for here. We have also finally used a photo of one of our cats for the header - personalisation is the plan  but it might take time. Here goes nothing!